Monday, July 30, 2012

emotional brilliance

This post is completely unrelated to the new LUSH makeup line, I just like the name! It goes perfectly with the whole self confidence thing I have going on right now. It's actually really awesome to not be so insecure anymore, and I'm thinking about starting a project to do with that..which sounds kind of arrogant, I guess, but I mostly just think it sucks that we're all bombarded with messages to hate ourselves. So I want to create media that doesn't do that.

Anyway, today I woke up at like, 7am, which is practically unheard of for me (go jetlag!) and decided I didn't feel like going to look at new bathtubs with my mum so I stayed home and watched Adventure Time and took photos in the rain. Run-on sentences ftw. But yeah, disregarding my slowly slipping command of the English language, here's an outfit post! It's raining and relatively cold for a Beijing summer, so I finally got to wear more than one layer and not drown in my own sweat.

nerdy goth vibes

old cat t-shirt with cut off sleeves, vintage burberry skirt, zara coat, rocket dog shoes, old scarf
urban decay 24/7 liquid eyeliner in sabbath, occ lip tar in belladonna, my giant face
I've been getting into makeup lately, actually. I feel like it makes how I look into a whole image rather than just clothes, which relates to my last post. For today, I basically just felt like dressing in all black and not looking fun and...flippy. It's all kind of long and dark and heavy, which I like right now. I don't feel like being approachable and pretty.


(more photos after the break)

Tuesday, July 24, 2012



Lately I've been dressing myself differently and trying to actively think about clothes and makeup and just generally how appearances make me feel/make other people feel. In relation to me, of course, because I'm a self-absorbed teenager.

I kind of went through a phase of dressing for other people- I would try to make myself look appealing, 'normal'-whatever that means- and as bland as possible. It actually didn't work that well because I seem to have a different view of what normal teenage dressing is compared to other people. Like, some of my friends wouldn't wear dresses to go out because it wasn't a special occasion? I treat my whole life as a special occasion.

Anyway, I'm over that because during that phase I was just really vulnerable and insecure and whatnot as a result of some personal problems. I have since moved on! Awesomeness! I'm starting to wear whatever the fuck I want again!

I think that now that I'm wearing what I actually want to wear, it's making me feel better about myself. I suppose to some people this might seem shallow (it's totally not, because clothes and makeup are valid forms of self-expression, mother.) but when I look exactly how I want to look, I feel untouchable. I feel great.
It's about control, I guess- my dad recently asked me if I minded people looking at me (I had purple hair, blue eyeliner and a bright green cardigan on, so I was fairly colourful and bright) and I realised I didn't.
See, people are going to look at you anyway. More so in China, because OMG WAI GUO REN, but even in England- people look at people. It's just a thing that happens. I told my dad, "They're going to look anyway, I may as well give them something to look at." but that was just a flippant response and it's kind of more than that. I mean, it's cool to be able to make somebody look at you twice because you're brightly coloured or whatever, but that's not everything.

I can control how I present myself to the world and that feels really amazing after not having control over so many things for such a long time (the personal problems). If I want to wear a low cut top and little girl bunches, I can and I know that how I look that day is a deliberate choice on my part. It's nice to be able to exercise power over your own body. It kind of transforms clothes and makeup into more than themselves, it turns them into what feels like armour. It's like a statement- I've chosen to look like this and I want to look like this and you have no bearing on that. I guess you could say choosing how you look is a way of expressing that you have bodily autonomy and you have CHOICE, and that's pretty powerful in this society where catcallers and the media and legislation and just PEOPLE try to take that away .

I will probably edit/extend/delete this tomorrow,


P.S. fun fact: purple/black lipstick tends to intimidate/scare people. probably green and blue too. will have to buy more makeup.

P.P.S. I've never been catcalled myself ( thank god, because I'm terrible at reacting to things like that. I usually react to open leering/comments on my body or appearance from people at school with physical violence, apparently comical anger or vaguely passive-aggressive replies). I don't think it's as  common in China, but I'm not sure.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

she was a day tripper

Sunday driver, yeah.

Phew. This is my first proper outfit post in god knows how long, in fact here's the last one on the off chance that anyone wants to see it and mock both my past and present ways at once. I'm pretty sure it's that one, forgive me if I'm wrong.
Thanks to my dear friend Liz for taking the pictures. The venue is...well, the bathroom. In Italy! But you know, a bathroom.
On to the pictures! My hair is grossly in a ponytail with bits sticking out. I have no skills when it comes to hair anything, tbh. Also my legs are littered with tons of mosquito bites. Ah, countryside.

High low skirt! Which kind of looks weird without heels because I'm not modelesque or whatever, but it was
either these shoes or flip flops so...

Go-to photo pose. A result of spending way too long in China. Also, if you haven't already
guessed from the photo, I suck at putting on makeup and am now in fact looking up tutorials
on YOUTUBE (which works here WOO) in the vain hope of improving.

Um. My back? Yay sheerness.

Ignore my face. Also as you can see, the remnants of my green dip dyed hair.

Happy happy! I'm not that short, Liz was standing on a chair while taking the pics for reasons best known to herself.

Outfit details:
Floral bustier - Pull & Bear
Skirt - Yashow
White "Converse" - Yashow 
Necklace - Gift from my mother (she bought it in Delhi. In India.)

All my makeup is drugstore bought ^^

BTW, Yashow is a bargain market in Beijing. It has lots of fakes. Including my shoes. Shh.

I feel like I'm not writing enough. I can't think of any charming/cool/hilarious anecdotes to accompany this. I'm out of practice at the whole fashion blogging thing, sorry...Here have a photo of my suitcase.

Until next time!


Saturday, July 21, 2012

To bald or not to bald?

Recently ive been extremely tempted to shave my head, and in fact a hundred kuai rests on me chickening out and not doing it...a bet with Hannah predictably.

So i have compiled some pictures of cool ass girls with shaved heads for inspo, and encouragement, because i have some reservations which i am not proud of >people wont find me attractive and i will be forever alone and regret it and cry forever in my self imposed bald misery< and stuff like that. Total gross stuff. Anyway, here are the pics! None are mine, i dont know the sources sorry just got it off the one sue me...

Natalie Portman as whatever her name was in V for Vendetta. Kick ass movie.

A cool looking girl on tumblr? I'll try to be better with sources next time, soz.

Backpack power! Eyebrow power! Asian power! Basically everything in this photo is my goal.

Willow Smith. I have decided she is pretty cool.

Definitely tagging this #totalfillerpostimsorry but i swear an outift post is coming soon! I have taken pics and everything, just gotta upload them and add some semblance of coherent text to accompany them. A daunting task.


Friday, July 20, 2012

raspberry jam doughnuts

So, my hair went from this:
randomly bleached blonde

to this:

dyed purple~! ish. also wearing Barry M liquid liner in electric blue. it's super easy to apply but you can't touch it or it smudges and dies.

I used this random bleach thing from a drugstore and Special Effects dye in (and I feel ridiculous even just typing this) Pimpin Purple. Why no apostrophe, Special Effects?

In any case, this was meant to be a dip-dye (because I told my parents the school would be okay with that. I feel like they were just humouring me though.) but it ended up being more like a..most-of-head-dye? Which I'm totally fine with. I just wish I could've done the rest of my head, considering the majority of it is purple right now.

me and my mother. she's very short.

accurate representations of my face #2

I'm also currently addicted to Lush; I just attended the launch party for Emotional Brilliance. The liquid eyeliner was kind of.. thick and I didn't particularly like it. The liquid lipsticks were nice, super moisturising and fairly pigmented. I might've bought one if not for money troubles. Cries into empty wallet.

But LUSH. Like, I've become one of those people who just stares longingly at websites because everything smells so good/is really pretty. The Yuzu & Cocoa bubbleroon is possibly the best thing I've ever smelled? Also all the honey-toffee scented things are amazing. Maybe I should start a Lush tumblr.


Wednesday, July 18, 2012

the jean chronicles, part II

I convinced my brother to take photos again! He got bored eventually and started turning it into a game where he leaped about madly and took 'action shots' to catch me unawares.
I am writing this when I really should be writing one of the many application essays for Simon's Rock. You can tell when I really care about something because it never gets finished/I procrastinate until it's almost too late. OBVIOUSLY I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE.

But I digress, this is not about my unhealthy perfectionism and hopeless dreams of attending a liberal arts university in the US- this is about photos of me taking a trip to the seaside with my family. Narcissism ftw!

I mean, 'trip to the seaside' is probably a bit misleading, seeing as my nana's house is five minutes walk from the beach, but the general idea still stands. Although, does nobody else call their grandmother 'nana'? People always laugh when I say it in front of them.

secondhand cardigan, uniqlo jeans, adidas t-shirt, taobao shoes, nikon bag

My family calls this the 'Monster's Inc.' cardigan. I love it but it sheds like crazy; I was walking around Marks & Spencers and I kept leaving clumps of green-blue mohair everywhere. The bag is actually the (super cute) camera bag off my new camera! It ran out of film after I took one picture of the sea. 

accurate representation of my face

my nana in the background there
I made a promise to myself to change into something other than jeans my first day back in Beijing.


P.S. half-purple hair tomorrow!

Saturday, July 14, 2012

coconut coconut coconut CRACK

I was having a look at the viewing statistic things for Style Hawkers, and I am weirdly elated at the fact that someone else in the world googled "what will happen in the tournament of champions after world scholars cup", and found this blog! But moreso at the fact that I am not alone in wondering what exactly will be happening.

Anyway, I'm in England staying at my grandmother's house, currently taking refuge in my bedroom because dear God my cousin Josh is loud. And he dribbles everywhere. And doesn't really talk in English, as far as I can tell. I don't know, I've never really liked kids or found their general...dumbness cute. Why is it funny that they can't eat properly? WHY.

But yeah, moving past my dislike of children, here's an outfit post (that isn't really an outfit post, but whatever)!
I'm really sorry that it's so boring but ENGLAND IS COLD. I packed summer dresses and cute little cardigans and sheer, floaty things. So far, I have not worn anything but jeans and a few t shirts that I packed for sleeping in/lazing around the house. I managed to buy a jumper and a long, forties-ish vintage skirt but, other than those, I'm pretty much stuck in jeans and my brother's Star Wars for Adidas top.

Oh, but first a comparison of my hair freshly dyed and my hair..yesterday.

H&M top, random cardigan thing that isn't technically mine

i would be wearing makeup but england hates me and I keep having allergic reactions

I dislike my hairdresser. I really, really do. I've ordered some Special Effects purple dye so I'll probably just bleach the ends and re-dye it though.

vintage blazer, nirvana t-shirt, uniqlo jeans, shoes
The blazer is from this shop called Corner 93 in Sunderland, and I love it. I've never actually bought a  blazer before but it was ten pounds and I figured there's a first time for everything! I kind of had this image in my  head of blazers being essentially just stiff, shoulder-padded jumpers but it's actually super comfortable and has nice buttons.

This has been an outfit post. I'M SO SORRY.


Thursday, July 5, 2012

video post #1

I made a video outfit post! Where I ramble a lot! And move my hands around awkwardly!

Okay, so this video is genuinely terrible. In the middle I randomly say bye because I filmed two videos (in case I failed) and spliced them together awkwardly, then didn't realise I'd added in a random bit until way after I'd finished.
It took so long to do in the first place that I just left it there out of laziness. As a result, you should probably just skip 1:23 to 1:38.  You do get to see my infamously round face though, so that's a plus?

I'm also weirdly lisp-y and speak in a kind of vaguely Americanised British accent, which I blame on all my friends.

To save you actually watching the video if  you don't want to (I'm actually kind of embarrassed at its terribleness), there are some screenshots after the cut that show you my outfit/hair/everything you'd see in a regular non-video post!

Oh, and I bought the shoes at


P.S. The fact that I was out of breath at the start of the video was definitely due to my asthma and not my complete lack of physical fitness.

marc jacobs dress, taobao shoes

skeptical me